Aptitude Exam’s trauma

Before I even start ranting about literally anything, a HUGE shout out to you. You have successfully rather wishfully finished a major part of academics that is your inter/A levels.  Just a step behind of a new/unique world, you are about to enter, stand tall and tap yourself for once that you made it. You of all those people who could not reach this stage of life, made it to show up for a whole new struggle. A struggle to combat fear, anxiety, depression and the delightful feeling of adult-ing has started engulfing you so CHEERS!

To my knowledge, many of you are already done with the Aptitude and waiting for their results while some are still busy studying. However, I am sharing a snippet of my story just so that I could make the (more or less) decisive moments of you young kids go easy. So ever since I was in grade 12 that is in my second year I was worried about my career. I, being a Pre Med student was so confused about those hours I used to spare in cramming, reading, drawing (Biology diagrams), NEVER did I let go of any person who could clear my confusion. I wanted someone to shake my arm off to tell me that THIS is what you want. THIS is the place where you belong. I had been looking for somebody who could help me in my decision making. RIGHTFUL decision making. So months before my Inter Board exams I decided to appear for Air Force exam. ( Had little interest of my own, I wanted to fulfill my mother’s dream by doing so). As I continued studying I started falling for the content those PAF books had. For a moment I thought, that was what I always wanted and that my whole freaking being wanted to be. I somehow managed to study two entirely different fields’ books for good 4 to 5 months with zero sleep, more stress yet I survived. But guess what? When I appeared for the exam, solved questions over and over again. Physics, then Maths then English and in a fraction of seconds the computer screen displayed “TIME’S UP, BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME”. I was moved, couldn’t believe what was happening. I randomly tapped a few keyboard buttons (maybe I knew what was happening, I knew I failed, I knew I did not make it and ran short of time) I shamelessly called out the invigilator hoping that he would tell me something otherwise, but he didn’t. He said “This is the exit, make sure you go in the right direction”.  In other words “Aap fail hogaye hain. Agley saal try Karen”. I cried that day quite a lot. I had only one chance and I could not give my best shot. Those were not the tears of my own failure, those were my mother’s dream falling off my cheeks in the form of tears. But who beats the destiny? None. I stood up again by the help of my really closed one and started looking for more options well suited my interest. Then getting over with my Board exams I was again at the place where you all are. THE APTITUDE TRAUMA. I kept looking for options, as I already had decided to quit Medicine due to lack of interest and go for something of my interest. I chose Business (Pretty satisfied with that though). I started preparing for IBA then NUST Business School, LSE and what not. FUN FACT: I never thought of IoBM during the process though XD but again, FATE. Khair, bohat parha dunia jahan ka zor lagayaa lekin kaheen nahe hua as Business was a whole new field for me. Just as a stubborn person as I have always been, I did not seem to settle for less so against ALL ODDS, negating every voice that was raised on me and against my parents will, I decided to take a gap year. I stood by my decision like a rock for like 12 months (The hardest time of my life.) as nobody favors the idea of “Gap year” in my family. But I knew I wanted the best for myself. The following year the whole process started again, I dedicated myself for studies all over again, sometimes it is really hard to start afresh with the same enthusiasm but I had no choice other than facing the reality. I started taking early morning aptitude classes, travelling a mile to reach on time, reappearing for University exams all over again until I cleared IoBM’s. Gladly.  So there your gal ended up to. The feeling of seeing my name in the merit list was priceless and tbh, had I not seen failure multiple times, I would not have felt the pleasure of success.

There are times ya’ll, when you feel completely helpless. You run out of options apparently but know that there is always ONE door left open. That door had a lot to say, people entered and people left but never the same! When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.  Do not get disheartened if you do not make it to your desired University. Try seeking for other options that matches your interest. If not, combat criticism, fight for your rights, stand up against all odds, take risks BUT NEVER EVER SETTLE FOR LESS. Never say yes to something you KNOW you don’t deserve.  You did not come this far to feel heart broken or to just settle for anything. You deserve eternity ya’ll. This is just a beginning of hardships your adulthood has already started to face. SO BE STRONG. Choose wisely as life never keeps giving you chances. I wish you all the best. I pray that your hard work does pay off and you get into your desired University insha Allah.

Do let me know if snippet of my story motivated you even a little bit and inspired you to work even harder for your ultimate goal to achieve.